Holiday check-IN and Priscilla freak-OUT

So much as been going on this last month. We’ve moved, celebrated two birthdays, hosted Thanksgiving for the first time, I graduated, the dog was recently stolen, and on top of all that I’m still working 6-7 days a week AND I’m training for a marathon. I finally had a breakdown last week. Literally. Full on crying until snot bubbles were forming in my nostrils. {Sigh} Today, I’m alive and I’m feeling pretty grateful. I have no idea how I’m going to survive the last sliver of this year BUT I know I’ve got some pretty awesome support and I can’t thank them enough.

Smile even though you’re aching.

I sat down to write this blog and I struggled to find the words. I usually try to write something relevant to running or nutrition, or even just explain why I haven’t posted. Today I had nothing. Sure, there were a million things related to those topics that I could have blogged about but I didn’t feel like that’s what was in my heart. What’s in my heart is a whole-lotta stress….wait…no!…What’s in my HEAD is a whole-lotta stress. What’s in my HEART today is HOPE and GRATITUDE.

This whole year feels like it has been a struggle and as it comes to a close I feel like the struggle has peaked. I literally feel like I cannot take one more single pea on the plate before it breaks and crumbles. However, when I look back on the year and I see everything I have been struggling for, it all seems worth it. I had to give up running for while, I gained a few pounds (or more), I missed school musicals, choir performances, snuggle time, and I had to postpone Ironman 70.3. As 2015 approaches, I feel an incredible sense of relief and also excitement. There is so much unknown facing me but I’m excited about it! I have my 2015 race calendar tucked away on my wish list. I’m finally graduated so I can begin my career in nutrition (As a professional). All of my family and friends, who have been waiting patiently for my time, are ready to have fun and spend time with me. There is just so much hope for the year to come.

So, yes, I had a breakdown. Yes, I’m beyond stressed. Sure, I’m failing at marathon training, but you know what? I’m going to run that marathon no matter what. You know why? Because I’m grateful for my struggle this year. I’m grateful that it’s coming to an end. I’m grateful that I have two working legs. I’m grateful that those two legs carry me on my runs which allows me to de-stress and brings relief into my life. I’m grateful I have an incredibly supportive husband who stands by me while I pursue my dreams….all at once…and then lets me cry on his chest and wipe my boogies on his shirt. I’m grateful I have two crazy, funny, loving, healthy children to fill my house with life and remind me that everything I’m doing has a bigger purpose. They push me because I want them to learn my from my example and I want to set the bar high in every way. I’m grateful that I have a family who loves and supports me; who cheer me on during my races and in life.

Added a little flare to my attire to cheer me up. (and that’s Mickie our cat)

So yea, I’m not feeling so great about my marathon training (which is disappointing) BUT on race day, Im going to run that race (however slow) and I’m going to finish with the greatest smile on my face because the struggle was worth it. I want my kids to see that you CAN do anything you put your mind to as long as you’re dedicated to it.

AND if you’re out there stressing and struggling like me, take a deep breath! You will survive this. I feel your pain, however different our struggles may be. Know that this too shall pass. For now, surround yourself with people who will support you. People who will support your purpose. Take it one day at a time and make time to RUN….

We love you Coco! We’re doing everything we can to get you home.

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